A Psychodynamic perspective
By dr Marcel de Roos, Psychologist PhD, the Netherlands
https://www.marcelderoos.com/
In Sri Lanka, psychology or counselling is mainly cognitive orientated. Cognitive behaviour therapy is a collective term for a whole gamut of therapy forms. Clients are encouraged to challenge “irrational thoughts” and change “negative” thoughts into “positive” ones. It stays in the present, and its theory assumes that it’s your perception of the world that colours your views and feelings.
A psychodynamic approach asserts that the mind is an interplay of forces between on the one hand motives, desires and emotions and on the other norms and values. The actual behaviour is a more or less appropriate compromise of this. It’s dynamic because this therapeutic approach guides the client towards a more functional and more satisfactory modification of the beneficial and restraining forces in our psychological life.
On the surface, psychodynamic therapy seems a “talking therapy”. And yes, expressing yourself verbally is beneficial: people start to feel better and it generates hope. But speaking freely in total sincerity often also brings emotions like pain and shame. Sometimes you’re surprised of what you’re saying. The preferred psychological freedom starts with freedom in speech during psychotherapy. Speaking out can change people: communicating in truth and truthfulness, with FULL words (filled with emotions) and not empty ones.
The therapist shouldn’t engage much in “small talk”, it takes away the tension and words can become just reassurance. It’s beneficial to confront yourself with the truth, with reality, in order to feel grounded, provided of course if it’s tolerable. Truth, within certain limits, trumps covering up, cheating, tampering and deceiving yourself.
It’s clear that the family you grew up in, often has a significant impact on covering up. In every family there exists something that everyone knows but nobody is allowed to speak about. It’s vital that children are allowed to speak to their parents. They need to be actively encouraged to express what they are thinking, so children can realise what they experience. Plus children should be allowed to keep things for themselves.
Listening enables speaking. It’s a powerful invitation when someone is willing to listen to something that no one has ever wanting to hear. The psychologist needs to quietly sit and wait for the client to communicate developing emotional insights to come out. All of this without giving clues to what the client might think what the psychologist wants to hear.
Sometimes keeping silent is the best form of communication. Giving the client the space to tell what she wants to say, giving the time to process things. Do not rush the client, but enable him to formulate his words, experience his emotions and to allow the unexpected to happen. Clients should try to integrate the relived experience in their inner world. Words can get significance because of their being enveloped in silence. Speaking out can change people, psychodynamic therapy is a deeply emotional “talking cure”.
Working-through of traumas is one of the key points in therapy. A one-time rational insight is insufficient. The client needs to acquire a lived-through understanding, so it’s necessary to repeatedly discuss experiences and from different perspectives.
